SOMETIMES,UGOTTACRAWLTHRUYOUROWNWINDOW

This is me getting to know myself!

See the guy in this picture?  Well let’s just say, this is how you have to approach yourself sometimes.  I mean, the element of surprise and the heavily armed thing is far from being over the top.  You need the entire ensemble. The mask, the gun and the shady disposition is a must have for this type of ‘intrevention’.  Because you never know how you will react when you truly confront yourself in earnest.  Let’s be honest, things could get ugly!

So, why the sudden need for introspection?  Well, it would be useless to have discussions on love and relationships if you do not love or have a healthy relationship with yourself.  For a long time I believed that I loved myself just because.  But just like any person you come in contact with on a daily basis, there are going to be things you like and things you don’t like.  I had to separate myself from the things  I perceived to be ‘unattractive’.

In addition, you have to be honest with yourself.  Halle Berry once said in an interview: “In the first six months of a relationship, that’s not you……that’s your representative.”  Actually, she is quite accurate.  It’s like expecting a guest over for the first time and trying to ‘tidy up’ really fast.  That’s a joke!  Because if you have not been maintaining your environment and keeping it clean on a regular basis, then you are just sweeping dust under the rug and eventually the filth will be exposed!

Now that we have gotten that out-of-the-way , let’s deal with how we clean up the mess.  It’s similar to performing brain surgery on yourself and believe me, it’s dangerous!  I fainted before I could even administer a local anesthetic.  I was in serious need of help.  I could not do it by myself.   Prayer worked for me.  I asked God to intervene and exterminate all the ugly termites that had infested this huge block of wood sittin’ on top of my shoulders . 

When I saw how many little ugly critters were creepin’ around inside of me, I asked the Lord how did they get there and why it took such a long time for me to realize that I needed help.  He explained it to me in one sentence.  “When you lay down with dogs, you come up with fleas!”  I know it sounds a little genric coming from God but sometimes LESS IS MORE AND TOO MUCH IS NOT ENOUGH.  It was effective. It was an analogy and it was simple.  The dogs were negative thoughts and people who I had surrounded myself with over the years.  Many of us do this and the portal in which we allow these elements to enter our lives is fear!

Ultimately, fear is the basis of everything negative.  As children and young adults we fear that we will not be accepted if we present our true self to the hip new ‘click’ we are trying to join.  So afraid of rejection that we compromise ourselves.  The fear of rejection had blinded me in such a way that I could not see that if the people I was trying to hangout with OR DATE were so cool, then why did I have to change at all?  A better question is why did I tell myself that the real me was not good enough? 

There are many types of insecurities and they manifest themselves in various ways. The key to success in any relationship, including one with yourself, is honesty.  Be you!  Keep it real with yourself!

SELAH!!!

CORTNEY DANIEL BONNER

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